Big Brother

I always wanted a big brother, no offense to my older sister. I always wanted someone there to defend me from bullies, and look out for me on the schoolyard. Well, Big Brother is watching over me, but not in a good way.
This week we learned that our government is now using a Predator unmanned drone aircraft, on loan from the Department of Homeland Security, to survey the valley that is flooding in North Dakota. High definition videos are shot from high above the area in question, then reviewed in some cozy office at Homeland Security. This creeps me out in so many ways. When ever there is a disaster, people are vulnerable and will follow direction without question. Sending in drones to take high definition video is not in itself a threat, but what it does is inoculate us as a nation to the use of these drones. "Don't worry my little friends, the drones are our friends. This is the wave of the future. See how it's helping us?" We already have Google earth street version to pinpoint our exact location, but the technology that is emerging is so intrusive, it frightens me.
I was sitting at my computer yesterday when I received an email. It was from my car. No kidding. It emailed me, via the Onstar program, and informed me that my right front tire pressure needs attending. I was stunned. There is another example of a "helping" device, that could also be used to "track" me if needed.
Then there was the incident three weeks ago. My sister and I arrived at a friends apartment to find him disoriented and in need of an ambulance. She called 911 on her cell phone, then we both realized that we didn't have the exact address, but again, no problem. As she was talking she heard an unusual bell sound on her phone. Yep, they had tracked her down via the cell phone and were sending help straight away. Did we feel helped? Hell no, we felt extremely creeped out.
This technology is watching our every move through traffic cameras on street corners, ATM cameras, parking lot cameras-hell you can't even straighten out your pantyhose on the elevator anymore as there is some 18 year old kid watching you from the security booth!
Is there anywhere to jump off the grid anymore? I doubt it. Our government is doing a heck of a job scaring us into compliance about the amount of surveillance it is doing. I'm not sure what the solution is, but I continue to vote for LESS monitoring systems when ever possible.
Big Brother is an impostor and he is not protecting us, he is hoping we will all fall in line and fall asleep so that he can do what ever he chooses and we won't even blink an eye. Silent drones overhead-think about it.

Suffering

It seems as I grow older my peripheral vision is expanding, and what I see from every direction is suffering. Three people I know are struggling with cancer, another two are grieving the loss of children, another the loss of his marriage, another few the loss of jobs, of homes. The losses are monumental, and the courage it requires for them to keep going is enormous.

What can we do for each other, as we grow older, as we become even more familiar with these losses? Because let's not fool ourselves, with great experience and age, comes loss. We can keep our heads down, turn up the music and pretend it isn't happening. But better still I think we can link arms and walk together, heads held high with full stride.

I think life can be juicy and fun, breathtaking and heartbreaking and dangerous. I also think at times it can be boring and dull, or crushingly painful and cruel. What ever comes, we face it not alone, but in a community of family and friends. We can and must reach out to each other when we are feeling the lonliness that nips at the heels, or the fear of the unknown, or the known, when the suffering is so raw that we wonder if we can bear it another day.

I found a quote today that I love:

"I'd rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't and die to find out there is". Albert Camus

Loving matters. Caring and comforting each other when we see the need matters. Sometimes I feel so powerless to do anything to comfort some, who suffer so much, with no resolve in sight. I try to remember that what most of us need more than anything, is just for someone to be present. Someone to stay with us for a bit, and not wince at the sight of our ugly, gaping lives.

I want to grow older with vigor, and with passion but more than that, I want to grow older with deep and genuine compassion.

During this economic dark storm, we don't have the power to change the deficit, but we can look around our own little world and try to be present. That's what I am trying to do. A little candle in the darkness to find our way to each other.