The Ultimate Bully Pulpit

PRAYER REQUESTS:

Dear God,

I saw this box in the hallway of a hospital today and at first I thought it was a sweepstakes box. I thought if I filled out the form I might win a car, or at least maybe win a six month membership to the local fitness gym. But somehow this little round box covered in flowers, sitting on a lace tablecloth drew me in closer, and I saw that it said: Prayer Requests. Now you and I haven't been getting along lately, and you know very well why. You have a real funny way of throwing that big red rubber ball down here, and I am pretty tired of the welts my family and I are getting. And I'm tired of running back and forth trying not to get hit. What is it that you want anyway? You want me to just step up to the line and let you drive one full force right at my head like the bully's in elementary school? Sometimes I think you are a bully, or at the very least a sadist. I honestly don't give a shit that you are Omnipotent, you are a distant deity who hides behind a curtain of mystery and allows folks to stumble around in the dark, unable to find answers. That's a bit sick don't you think? Would it be too much to ask that you just spread the misery around a bit and quit picking on the same people? Aren't there rules about that somewhere? And I know full well that the old "What goes around, comes around" idiom is complete rubbish. So much of what I thought about you has turned out not to be true, I don't even know you anymore. I'm not even sure I want to see you anymore, I need to sort things out. You disapoint me, you let me down. I thought I could count on you and I see that it just isn't so. And lastly, you are a piss poor communicater. I do all the talking and you just sit there silent. Well, I did write you something, and I put it in the box. There were so many folded pieces of paper in that little box I could hardly stuff it in, so I hope you even read it. And, if you feel like throwing me a bone, you know where to find me. I'm stumbling around, trying to find my way, dodging the red rubber ball.