Courage

"Courage comes and goes. Hold on for the next supply". Thomas Merton

Today I didn't feel courageous. I felt a little lost, a little off, a little like an insignificant drop in the ocean. I went through my day just putting one foot in front of the other, making an attempt to do my job to the best of my ability. But the underlying feeling was that I just don't make a difference to anyone or anything. I haven't published, I'm no one's sweetheart, and I work all day and fall into bed at night with mundane thoughts spinning in my head.

Then a client emailed me and told me that something I said made a huge difference to him, and allowed him to make changes in his life that have been really positive. That made me feel good.

So maybe courage is just attempting to make a difference, even if you don't know if you ever hit the mark. Maybe it's shutting off the alarm when all you really want to do is roll over and sleep. Maybe it's being a little bit kinder to the bagger at the grocery store, or smiling at the bank teller who looks like she could use one. Maybe it's saying no to the donut that is winking at you on the counter, and saying yes to good health and long life.

I'm not famous and I'm nobody's sweetheart, but I do believe that when we feel like we have lost our courage, if we just hold on, more will come.