Stations in Life

I have wanted for a few years to do an artists rendering of my life like the stations of the cross in a church. "THE FIRST GLORIOUS MYSTERY: Therese gets an ass whooping"

For so many years, really difficult years, I felt defined by my challenges. I thought they showed like a neon sign and I was embarrased by my station in life. I went for years without being able to afford nice clothes, a proper haircut or to even have my teeth cleaned. One Christmas a dear wonderful friend gave me a gift certificate to my dentist for Christmas. I almost cried, both for the thoughtfulness of it, and for the realization that I was so needy. I used food stamps for a while, stood in line for government cheese and day old vegetables. I felt so small, so vulnerable and yet . . .I imagined a time when I would rise up. I imagined a time when, instead of being on my hands and knees scrubbing someone's kitchen floor, I would have a job I felt proud of, making good money.

Today as I look back I can honestly say I am proudest of the fact that I scrubbed floors, cleaned toilets, mowed lawns. I did what I had to do, and I did it with gusto, I did not give up. Sometimes that is the only thing to do, keep going.

Today, I see my life as an interesting fairy tale. So many characters, so many interesting chapters and colorful twists and turns. I am my own fairy godmother, but I have others who help me along the way. Dear friends and family here and beyond. My personal guide behind the veil who I affectionately named Tony some years ago. My mom, now passed on 18 years.

As a girl of 16 I left the Catholic Church, much to my family's horror. Today, though I have no regrets about that decision, I am obsessed with religious memorabilia. Is it my mom, sweeping up behind me trying to trick me into going to church again? I think these iconic images are ingrained in us in some primordial way, at a cellular level we have these familiar archteypes that bubble up in our dreams, come out in our doodling. I am attracted to labrynths, great and small, crop circles and scared geometry-all of these beg to be noticed.

Perhaps all we really do here during our lifetime is find our way back to ourselves. Like Dorothy, we always know the way home, we just need to trust ourselves. Oh, and the shoes.