I drive a lot for my job, and I'm not complaining, I like it. I like my job. So, I'm driving along today and I pull up at a stop sign and the car in front of me has two bumper stickers on it. One reads "Too sexy for this car" and the other reads "If a fat girl falls in the forest, do the trees laugh?" The driver didn't look overweight at all to me.
Wow. Take it in. I do believe that mocking fat people is a sport for some folks. I dated a guy once that made fun of fat people (this was in one of my thin phases) and I was too ashamed to tell him that I had been fat too. Now, I would never even finish a cup of tea with a man who would make fun of fat people, or anyone for that matter, because of how they look. There is a sense of collective shadenfreuda about watching fat people in public that some people, who have clearly never been fat, have a field day with.
Now before some of you start with the debate about how fat isn't a disease, let me say that I agree. I think there are few people who have an actual disease whereby they eat almost nothing and still get fat. Those of us who have battled our weight issues if we are honest can admit that we make excuses a lot. We use food to cope with issues that should be addressed in better ways. But can I just say this, others use substances like Coke, Oxycontin, Cigarettes, booze, and still stay thin, so no one is judging them. The focus is purely on looks.
I remember an actual survey of men in G.Q. magazine last year where men that were surveyed stated that they would rather date a woman with a facial disfigurement or a woman with a sexually transmitted disease before dating a woman who is overweight. That's a very interesting study. And sad.
I know that I am a more compassionate person because I've been fat. Right now my weight is pretty stable, not quite to my goal weight, but I no longer consider myself fat. But I know what it feels like to be laughed at, and mocked. I will post some of those at another time.
If a fat woman falls in the forest do the trees laugh? You tell me.
belle goes mystical and moves away ...
3 years ago
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This is from the book A New Earth where the other is talking about how complaining and resentment strengthen our ego. "Applying negative mental labels to people, either to their face or more commonly when you speak about them to others or even just think about them, is often part of this pattern." It makes me think how we need to feel better than others to feel worth. Outward appearances are such an easy target. It is a quick way for us to feel good about our own flaws. I think that people need to humble themselves. Drop the facade. Measure themselves against themselves.
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